In the pregnancy and infant loss community there’s a quote most often used by Ronald Regan that says:
When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.
This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world, and spread awareness. Also providing resources to families who haven’t experienced loss so they know what to look for during and after pregnancy.
Having had 2 failed IVF cycles I learned that miscarriage is far more common than what most people think. After I announced both of our losses, friends and family reached out saying they themselves experienced a miscarriage. Most women don’t say anything and it is kept private. Most grieve without wanting others to see them cry at a loss.
What a community that came together to support Chase, Kason and I after having experienced Ethan being stillborn. A community of families who have also dealt with loss. I have become good friends with many just because they understand the grief and pain from losing a child.
It is not fair that any of us has to go through losing a child whether it is at the very beginning, middle, or end of a pregnancy.
Nor is it fair that any of us have lost a child due to birth defects, SIDS, genetic factors, or it being completely random.
And both parents are left to grieve while the world moves on around them.
Dads hurt too
There seems to be this stigma that only women are hurting when there is a loss of a child. Which is not the case. Yes, the woman is the one who carries the child, but it took two to create life. We need to remember those wonderful men who still hurt over the loss of their child.
Lauren at I AM FRUITFUL, encouraged me to remember that every baby’s life has value, and that God will give back what was taken from me. If not in this life then the next.
I want to remember
- The babies that I held on to even if it was for just a moment
- My friend who lost her baby in the third trimester
- Mine and Chase’s parents who have suffered miscarriages
- That life; whether that is short or long, is to be cherished and never forgotten.
Luminous Light Studio
P.S. Are you needing help paying for IVF? Sign up for my newsletter and get my free printable on “10 ways to pay for IVF.”
P.P.S. Read about our stillborn Ethan’s birth story.
P.P.P.S. Check out this post about what it was like for us to go through pregnancy loss.
P.P.P.P.S. AND be sure to check out my Etsy shop!