Second IVF Cycle: Moving Past a Negative (bfn)

The two week wait was pretty long. I don’t think I have ever wanted the time to move faster than those two weeks. Chase was also gone for almost a week of that, so that made the time go by even slower.

I tried staying positive and being mindful of what my body was going through. I had told a friend that I have felt like I had been in a medicated fog and that I was trying hard not to think about the embabies or whats been going on with my body. Mainly, so I didn’t think anything negative towards the cycle failing and putting myself into a deep depression. She said to stay strong and that we all have trials that test us to our absolute limit. She also said to to have faith and trust in God, and He’s preparing us for our ultimate reward.

Friday I was one of the first blood draws for the day. I waited and tried not to think about it, tried to keep my mind off of things; listen to podcasts, think about the upcoming weekend, think about how I would keep it a secret from everyone, and tried to work hard at work to distract myself. I had this feeling that they weren’t going to call until I was home without others around. We didn’t get the call until 6:30pm.

“Your test result was negative, I’m so sorry”

This was probably one of the hardest phone call to hear, and I’m sure it was hard for the nurse to give it, too. My beta was 0.25, that means I didn’t even get pregnant, a bfn (big fat negative).

Three months of not having a period makes my body bleed with a vengeance. We have an upcoming meeting with our RE to discuss what happened.

We are both so done with getting negatives… after 7 years of actively trying, going through 6-IUI’s and now 2-IVF’s, I would say we are tired of seeing countless negatives. It definitely makes it extremely hard when we paid around $14,000 and got nothing for it.

That’s like paying for a gently used $14,000 car and not even getting the chance to use it or really own the car.

So, what’s next?

Chase and I talked and decided beforehand that if the cycle didn’t work out then I wanted our next goal for us to become debt free. It’s been a tough year for us. We’ve done; 2-IVF cycles, saved up in cash to pay for one of them, while trying to stay sane, and stay married.

We decided we need a break to strengthen our marriage and work at achieving our goal together.

P.S. Are you needing help paying for IVF? Sign up for my newsletter and get my free printable on “10 ways to pay for IVF.”
P.P.S. Read about egg retrieval and embryo transfer for this cycle.
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