Our infertility journey isn’t over, and this time we’re dealing with secondary infertility.
Over the past year, I haven’t shared any part of our infertility journey. I kinda wanted to hide from the online community and not share anything too personal.
It has been the best thing to not think about growing our family the past 19 months.
At the end of 2017 I asked Chase if I could have all of 2018 to figure out who I was outside of infertility, because I felt so lost and alone while traveling infertility.
When December 2018 hit I started getting anxiety, depression, and I was getting angry a lot.
One night in December, I was really down and kept thinking “You aren’t enough.” These thoughts were not coming from me. After a few times of this happening I texted a friend for some therapist recommendations.
During December I was trying to figure out the cause of anxiety and depression, and got on my knees praying.
Because we were going to start trying for baby number two in January, that was bringing back all the past infertility feelings, and that was causing the anxiety and depression.
During the past year (2018) all our friends were continuing to grow their families and Chase and I both started feeling left out once again.
Chase and I knew we would be dealing with infertility, secondary infertility, and were scared because we didn’t want our family to know every detail.
Because my family follows me online I felt I couldn’t share that we were going to start trying to grow our family again.
So why am I still sharing if my family is going to now know?
Having my family know is a big worry. But my goal is to help at least one person know they aren’t alone when dealing with infertility, loneliness or feeling that they aren’t enough.
So, here’s what we’re doing:
- Not doing IVF again. It didn’t work for us and it was too hard emotionally and physically.
- Seeing a NaPro Doctor in a few months if we aren’t pregnant
- Getting a 6 week Mercier Therapy session done
Until then we are supplementing, praying, and trying to enjoy the journey once again.
P.S. Are you needing help paying for IVF? Sign up for my newsletter and get my free printable on “10 ways to pay for IVF.”
P.P.S. Read about our first NaPro appointment here.
P.P.P.S. Check out this post about my experience with Mercier Therapy.
P.P.P.P.S. Be sure to check out my Etsy shop!