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Chase and I hiking Big Springs Trail just after we found out we were pregnant with our first
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Hiking in Utah: Big Springs Trail

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You can get to Big Springs trail by driving up Provo Canyon turn right into Vivian park and continuing up the canyon road until until you reach the turn off for Big Springs Park. At the very top of the park there’s a parking lot. There are several paths to take, a dirt road, a …

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  • Gearing up for fall (IMO, no, I’m never ready for fall or winter) with these cute shirts in my shop! Click the link in my bio to go check out my shop. #teeshop #teeshirt #shirtshop #smallbusinessowner #utahshop
  • 3 year old preschool has started and if Ethan were alive, he would’ve been joining a class too. Just like his older brother did when he was 3. The thing about your child dying is that you constantly imagine what they would be doing at any age. So I imagine that he would’ve wanted to go to school just like his older brother, and I’m sure he would be best friends with his little sister.
#pregnancyloss #childloss #lifeafterloss #parentingafterloss #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness
  • There is something so still and calm about being in the mountains. 🏔️
#outdooradventures #optoutside #hikingislife #caves #mountainsarecalling
  • National 🌈Rainbow🌈 Baby Day!

These two are my rainbow babies. If you didn’t know, a rainbow baby is a child born after a loss/death. I had a miscarriage from our IVF cycle about 7 months before I got pregnant naturally with Kason. Then we got pregnant (again naturally) with Kennedy a year after Ethan died.
All of my babies are miracles. I will never discount them. These two are extra special because they came after so much loss and heartache and I am so thankful for the joy they bring.🌈
  • Though some may judge me for saying this (please be kind)…
I still have why thoughts.
WHY did that family get to keep all their kids?
WHY are all their children living and mine are not?
WHY did mine have to die?
I know it’s helpful at times to have these thoughts, however it’s not helpful to consistently thinking about them over and over and go down a long rabbit hole. It’s not productive. 
I wish my son was still living. It doesn’t feel fair that mine died. But I can’t change a thing. I can’t change the past. I thankfully can change how I choose to live my life and keep my son at the forefront of my mind daily. How are you choosing to live?

#pregnancylossawareness #pregnancylosssupport #pregnancyloss #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #pregnancyandinfantloss #livingwithgrief #parentingafterloss
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